Sacred Scared

I love the Momastary blog.  I don't always agree with everything she has to say, but I so admire her courage, her honesty and her vulnerability.  She is currently doing a series she has entitled "Sacred Scared" and she has had various well-known bloggers share their biggest fear.

So, I got to thinking about my biggest fear.

I've had a hard time figuring out how to put it into words, but here goes...

My biggest fear is that I won't accomplish what God has put me on this earth to do.

Ever since I can remember, I have felt like I had a huge purpose in my life.  I've searched for it.  I've sought it out in places that were so clearly not it.

I love my life.  I adore my husband and kids (though, we have our days...trust me).  I work at a job that I still walk in the building and thank God for everyday because I love it so much and feel so blessed to be paid to do it.  I have awesome friends.  I do fun stuff.  My church is great.

Yet, I still feel a void.  Like I'm supposed to be doing something more.  Am I supposed to champion a cause?  Am I supposed to be a writer?  A speaker?  Am I supposed to start a non-profit?  Am I supposed to quietly lead my life and encourage in everyday ordinary ways?

Here's the thing...I do not want to be ordinary.  But I struggle with a little thing called my ego.  I like being told, "Good job."  So, when I aim to do something I really pray to not make it about myself.

I believe there is something out there waiting for me to grab hold of and be passionate about.  Something that will help other people and bring glory to my Lord.

So, what exactly is it that God has put me here to do?  Am I already doing it or is there more?  Frankly, I believe there is more.  I just pray that I don't miss it.

Just keepin' it real.