Things I Want My Tribe To Know- #2

Things I want my tribe to know…

2.  Life is not fair, and that is okay!

Over the years, there has been a shift.  I have seen it in my lifetime.  It has always been there, I’m sure, but it has become more prevalent.  I have even seen it rear its ugly head more and more over the last 7 years of teaching school.  It is the idea of entitlement and making sure that everything is fair.  Even good people have been affected by this epidemic.  I have been affected by this epidemic.

You have probably heard it said that we live in a microwave society.  Everybody wants everything fast.  And easy.  May I also propose that everyone also expects to fairly get their way?  All. The. Time.  It is what we are teaching when we give every player on the team a trophy.  It is what we are reinforcing when give parents their way in school because it is easier to give in then to stand up for what is right.  We cater to the masses out of one side of our mouth while grumbling about fairness out of the other side.

I know people that make sure every single thing that concerns their children is fair.  I am not sure that is helpful or even really possible.  Life is just not fair.  When did we start expecting it to be?  Have we been taugh,t and are we teaching ourselves that it is supposed to be? 

Here is a question to ponder…is God’s definition of fair different than ours?  The bible states over and over that He is a fair and just God, and I truly believe He is.  The truth is fair does NOT mean equal.  And too often we equate the two.  We are not entitled to being treated equally.  That statement may not be popular, and there may even be some of you reading that ask how can I say that? 

Think about it.  Here is a small example of fair but not equal.  Two siblings have different bedtimes.  One child is 15 and goes to bed at 10:00.  The sibling is 8, and goes to bed at 8:00.  Is this fair?  Is this equal?

God treats us fairly according to what HE deems to be fair.  He does not always treat us equally, at least not when it comes to life’s details.  And the details are what we complain about.

This world does not revolve around you.  To make a point, I ask my fourth graders when teaching them recorders, “Does your mom ever tell you, ‘This world does not revolve around you?”  Then I say, “In music class, it revolves around me!”  I am trying to get them to see the importance of watching me for every little direction. 

I also tell them that when I direct during a performance, I will not talk like I do in class.  Yet, I still communicate.  Sometimes, we feel like God is not speaking to us.  He is always communicating.  When we make our world revolve around Him and seek His face, we better understand His will and can follow where He is guiding.

When we stop worrying so much about whether we are being treated fairly or equally, we take the focus off ourself and are better able to focus on others and even more so, on God.  We put our eyes on Him and keep them there.  If we can do this, we’ll be less likely to even realize when we have not been treated the way that we think we should have been.

Here is an exercise to try when feeling overwhelmed and like life is not going the way you would have it go (with you at the center of everything!).  Take a few minutes to take some deep breaths in.  As you breathe in recite the words (out loud or to yourself) “More of You.” As you exhale, whisper “Less of Me.”  Try this a few times and see if it doesn’t shift your focus back to where God would have it.

Also, pray about it.  Praying to not get your way is a dangerous prayer.  Denying ourselves on purpose sounds dreadful, but when we realize that life is not really about us and what can get and achieve and accomplish, it is truly freeing.  We stop expecting things to go our way.  We look for ways to go Gods’ way, and we look for ways to share His glory.

Life is not fair and it is not about you being the center of it.  That is okay!

I am participating in a writing challenge that explores the things I want my kids to know before I die.  Even though I have numbered these posts, they are not in any particular order.  I would love your thoughts and comments here on what I have written and also, what are the things you want your tribe to know.  The following writers are also participating in this challenge.  Please visit them and show some love:

Renee
Terri
Stephanie
Jessi
Rachel